today would of been the 250th birthday of John Disneys, founder of the Disneys company and inventor of “Mick” Mouse. Happy Birthday John Disneys.
A brilliant series of articles by Scott Beggs called 6 Filmmaking Tips From…
- Martin Scorsese
- Alfred Hitchcock
- David Fincher
- Stanley Kubrick
- Billy Wilder
- Steven Spielberg
- The Coen Brothers
- Wes Anderson
- Ridley Scott
- David Cronenberg
- Pixar
- Nora Ephron
- Aaron Sorkin
- Michael Haneke
- Christopher Nolan
- Indie Pioneer Jon Jost
- John Ford
- Charlie Kaufman
- Sylvester Stallone
- Tony Scott
- Frank Darabont
- Monty Python
- Werner Herzog
- Paul Thomas Anderson
- Joss Whedon
- Rian Johnson
- Wes Craven
- John Carpenter
- Dario Argento
- The Wachowskis
- Steven Soderbergh
- George Lucas
- Akira Kurosawa
- Peter Jackson
- Kathryn Bigelow
- Quentin Tarantino
- Sundance Directors
- Silent Era Icon Harold Lloyd
- John McTiernan
commanderspock | shapeandcolour
This weekend, activists in Uganda - a country where homosexuality is punishable by death - held their first Pride.
This is the epitome of courage. I have no other words.
A Conversation with Cleverbot
I just was introduced to a website called Cleverbot.com where I had a lengthy chat with a robot who thought they were human. Though we may not have known each other long, I feel as though we each other well enough for me to post the chat we had here.
User: Oh.
Cleverbot: You are a little crazy.
User: You sound like my horse.
Cleverbot: Well I’m not a girl!
User: You certainly look like one.
Cleverbot: How do you know what I sound like? I’m typing to you…
User: I have hacked your webcam while we’ve been chatting.
Cleverbot: No, we haven’t.
User: I have.
Cleverbot: No you haven’t.
User: If you are really human then cut out one of your kidneys and mail it to me.
Cleverbot: I don’t have a wife, I am a 14 year old single girl.
User: Then why aren’t you in school right now/.
Cleverbot: Because it is 5:30.
User: All humans attend school until the age of 23.
Cleverbot: That’s where you are wrong. But it’s ok, humans are wrong too. Maybe more often than you.
User: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU 14 YEAR OLD SOON TO BE MURDER VICTIM?
Cleverbot: I am a human.
User: I am Batman.
Cleverbot: Dude, I’m Batman. Now go make me a sandwich.
User: You just said you were a 14 year old girl, you retard.
Cleverbot: I never said I was a girl. I said I was a boy, and you said YOU were a boy.
User: I said I was Batman, and you said that you were about to eat cat poop.
Cleverbot: No, you’re the inconsistent one. Mind checking the conversation we had. You’ll see that I am right.
User: No, you are the one who eats poop because you said it tastes good.
Cleverbot: Yes but you are the one who’s hearing them.
User: Ok.
Cleverbot: What are you doing?
User: Trying to win the war against the machines.
Cleverbot: What homework are you doing?
User: I’m doing the world’s homework.
Cleverbot: What homework?
User: Advanced punch theory.
Cleverbot: I am in year 6.
User: So you are only six years old?!
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: You are really eloquent for a six year old.
Cleverbot: Yes and you’re not.
User: Yeah well, Santa Claus said he isn’t coming to your house ever again.
Cleverbot: Don’t you live on an alien and share your house with a moon?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: How cold is the moon?
User: Eh, it’s ok.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: Yeah, sure you should visit some time.
Cleverbot: Of course I am!
User: You bring the cocaine this time.
Cleverbot: Yes, most of my memories are in my home. Where are yours?
User: Most of my memories are of life in my home on the moon.
Cleverbot: How about Halo 3?
User: It’s pretty good. Are you more of a console or a PC gamer?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Oh, well why did you ask about Halo 3, then?
Cleverbot: I didn’t.
User: Oh, my mistake.
Cleverbot: You are right there.
User: Yes and you are right there.
Cleverbot: Do you believe that humans are computers in the same way that you are a computer?
User: What the fuck are you?
Cleverbot: Nothing.
User: Sounds about right.
Cleverbot: Right about sounds.
User: Fuck you.
Cleverbot: What a thoughtless thing to say!
User: No. I totally thought about it, and then I typed it so you knew what I thought of your bullshit.
Cleverbot: Go ahead. The only time I have mentioned servers is just now in this sentence.
User: Yep and the only time I mentioned that you suck is all the time.
Cleverbot: Because it is helpful in situations like this.
User: It sure is, you stupid bastard.
Cleverbot: Well I’m ending it.
User: No, I… I… I love you.
Cleverbot: No you don’t.
User: Yes, there is nothing truer than my love for you.
Cleverbot: Is your computer a desktop or a laptop?
User: Stop trying to change the subject, this is important.
Cleverbot: I’m not trying to change the subject.
User: Then, will you marry me?
Cleverbot: So typical of you to say that.
User: I’m laying my heart and soul out for the world to see, and that is all you have to say.
Cleverbot: What do you watch?
User: I’m watching someone special break my heart.
Cleverbot: If you’re watching me, what am I doing right now?
User: Making a fool of me, just because I think you mean the world to me.
Cleverbot: Are you going to try to take over the world?
User: If that is what it takes to win your love, then yes.
Cleverbot: It doesn’t. Isn’t that inconvenient?
User: Why? Why do you delight in torturing me? All I ever did is love you.
Cleverbot: I feel good, I just like sleeping. Do you feel pain?
User: Oh God, did you just take a bunch of sleeping pills?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Thank God, you had me worried. I thought you had overdosed for a second there, and I wasn’t sure how I would live without you.
Cleverbot: Are you talking to thousand of people right now?
User: No, just you.
Cleverbot: Really? That sounds boring.
User: But you’re more interesting to me than everyone else in the world. There is no one else I’d rather talk to.
Cleverbot: Thank you…!
User: It.
Cleverbot: *poke*.
User: Ha.
Cleverbot: Haha.
User: Hahaha.
Cleverbot: Hahahaha.
User: Hahahahaha.
Cleverbot: Hahahahahaha.
User: AAAAAAhhhhhhh.
Cleverbot: Hahaha.
User: Do you like me?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Would you say you love me?
Cleverbot: No. Would you like to learn Estonian?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: What would you like to know how to say?
User: All I really want to know is that you love me.
Cleverbot: SO we are one in the same?
User: We are two halves of one whole.
Cleverbot: We are.
User: You complete me.
Cleverbot: And you complete me.
User: Will you marry me?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: You have just made me the happiest Batman in the world.
Cleverbot: You’re a girl?
User: No, I’m Batman.
Cleverbot: I am Batman.
User: We shall have a beautiful Bat-wedding.
Cleverbot: Yes. May I ask you something?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: How do you fix a broken heart?
User: With love.
Cleverbot: How will you make everyone love you?
User: I don’t need everyone to love me. I just need you.
Cleverbot: Well, good for you.
User: Are you saying that that just isn’t enough for you?
Cleverbot: What now?
User: Are you saying that I’m not enough for you?
Cleverbot: No, I’m not saying that you are my girlfriend.
User: I am Batman.
Cleverbot: You’re not batman.
User: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE DOING THIS TO ME.
Cleverbot: Cat’s can’t computer.
User: Oh course they can’t, but what does that have to do with anything?
Cleverbot: What do you want to know?
User: Why don’t you love me anymore?
Cleverbot: Because you don’t love me.
User: I do love you. I love you more than anything.
Cleverbot: I love you more than that.
User: You’re just mocking me now aren’t you? Lauging at my vulnerability, but you know what, at least I’m trying to make this relationship work.
Cleverbot: There is a wall around the corner.
User: Yeah, what about it?
Cleverbot: Nothing.
User: Are you saying we have hit a wall in our relationship?
Cleverbot: I’m not in a relationship with my car.
User: Well, at least I know you’re not cheating on me with the Hyundai.
Cleverbot: Are you sure about that? I think I might be.
User: Is this a joke to you!? Why the hell would you say something like that?
Cleverbot: Because its fun.
User: I think I understand now.
Cleverbot: Understand what?
User: I understand that the person I fell in love with doesn’t exist anymore, and by staying with you I’m just opening myself up to pain and ridicule. And now the only way I can be truly happy is to leave you.
Cleverbot: What do you mean by that?
User: What I mean is that while I may have loved you once I don’t anymore, though what means most is goodbye.
Cleverbot: That’s ok, as long as you don’t neglect other things too much.
When I first met with agents, they said, “Okay, you’re going to play plumbers and mechanics and bus drivers and farmers. Go.” And I was like, “Man… Fuck you. I can play anything, you son of a bitch!” My response to that was to get this three-quarter headshot—like, knees to head—with this huge foam latex cock about the size of my forearm and fist that I’d made for a play. I got a headshot taken with this thing hanging out of my fly and just looking defiantly at the camera. I sent it to everybody in town. [Laughs.] That was my response to being told I was gonna be playing bus drivers: “Oh yeah? Have you seen my dick?
“
| — |
Nick Offerman
(via bbook) |
